i have a dream job for every personality ive ever had

I genuinely think one of my biggest career problems is that I can picture myself being happy doing way too many things, which sounds like a good problem until you actually have to pick a major, finish school, apply for jobs, explain your goals to people, and somehow pretend there is one clear path when in reality my brain has like twelve open tabs and every single one is a different version of my future.

There is the editorial version of me who wants to work at a magazine, write features, sit in pitch meetings, go to shoots, interview people, and somehow always have a good coat. There is the entertainment version who wants to work behind the scenes at a theme park or production company and be around the chaos of building experiences. There is the photography version who wants to shoot artists, weddings, concerts, and campaigns. There is the PR version who wants to be the person making things happen quietly in the background. There is the teacher version who appears every few months and convinces me I could absolutely run a classroom. There is also the tiny business owner version who wants a café, a publication, a creative studio, and maybe three side projects because apparently one job is never enough for me.

The problem is that every time one of these versions gets louder, I start planning her whole life. I do not just think maybe I would like editorial, I think okay where does Editorial Lis live, what city is she in, what is her commute, what does she wear, what is on her desk, what kind of coffee shop does she go to after work, and how long until she is promoted. Same with every other career idea. I have lived at least fifteen professional lives in my head and technically have not even finished school yet, which is humbling.

I used to think this meant I was indecisive, and maybe I am a little, but I also think I am just very interested in different kinds of work and I have never been good at pretending I only care about one thing. I like writing, photography, media, entertainment, people, events, design, storytelling, culture, and I keep trying to find the one job that lets me touch all of them without making me hate my life by Wednesday.

That is probably why school has been so frustrating too, because my career goals feel very real to me while the path to them feels painfully slow. I can see the version of my life I want and then there is this giant annoying staircase called credits, classes, prerequisites, applications, internships, and timing sitting between me and it, and I know that is normal, but knowing something is normal does not make it less annoying.

I think the thing I am trying to learn now is that I do not actually need to pick one dream job and tattoo it onto my personality forever. I can want editorial now and still end up somewhere adjacent. I can work in entertainment and still write. I can do PR and still shoot photos. I can build something of my own later. Careers are probably less like choosing one door and more like walking through a bunch of weird hallways until you realize which rooms you keep coming back to.

And I do keep coming back to the same things, which is probably the clue. I want creative work, I want work that feels connected to people and culture, I want to make something I can point to, I want days that do not all look exactly the same, and I want enough freedom that I do not feel like I traded my entire personality for a paycheck.

So maybe I do have a dream job for every personality I have ever had, but I think the bigger dream is just building a career that leaves room for all of them.

That sounds less neat, but honestly, so am I.

xoxo,
Sunday Girl ( my blogger personality )